Anxiety attacks are the worst because sometimes you have no idea why you’re crying or angry and you just think of everything wrong in your life and you can’t control it all you can do is breath in and out and cry it out
i changed the settings on my moms phone so that when she types my name it changes to ‘my favorite child’ and when she types a swear, it changes it to something more family friendly
I JUST GOOGLED WHAT CAUSES PERIOD PAINS AND APPARENTLY IT’S BECAUSE THE UTERUS CONTRACTS AND THAT CUTS OFF THE FUCKING BLOOD SUPPLY
PEOPLE WITH PERIOD PAINS ARE LITERALLY FEELING THEIR UTERUS TRYING TO KILL ITSELF
hello yes 911 this is an emergency my uterus is trying to kill itself
never introduce your friends to one another because they end up liking each other more than they ever liked you

lickyourheartt-tasteyourhealth:
I remember when I came out of the closet and told my parents I was Chinese. They’ve never looked at me the same way ever again,
That awkward moment when you realize that you’re Chinese.
“Mom, Dad…I’m Chinese”
“I was born chinese”
“no! the bible says adam and eve not Adam and Ling-Ling!”
adam and eve not adam and ling ling omg
Fucking hell.
I ONLY WANT THIS FOR THE COMMENTS
(viaLMFAO
a documentary based on the life of that guy who cleans up porn sets

some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me.
and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about
and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.”
she meant henry david thoreau.
i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend
Just a reminder that making fun of people isn’t humor.




